As long as both parties are still living, there is a chance for reunion.
One can spend years waiting for reunion.. for the one waiting, it can be very painful.
Good luck to this mom, and all those waiting. <3
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I found my son after 44
years and he has refused to meet me. I
am devastated. I connected with his Aparents via a lengthy letter explaining
who I was and that I would like to meet my son. The first letter I received was very warm and
welcoming like they were interested in a reunion. I was so excited as I had never dreamed of a
reunion was possible. When the adoption process took place in 1975, I was told
under no circumstances was I allowed to EVER go looking for him. Even today my 83-year-old mother is against
it...
Well, I found my son and was
so hoping that a reunion would take place.
I received the first letter back from the Amom saying that they would be
more than willing to speak with my son and show him my letter. When I received the
second letter, I could hardly breathe when I opened it. To my dismay, it was not what I was hoping for…
I was told that they sat down with my son and let him read my letter, and he
saw the photos I sent. His Amom then preceded to say, with sadness in her heart,
my son wanted nothing to do with a reunion. He said, “I already have a family”. I continued corresponding with his Amom for
about three months. She shared many wonderful things about my son, which
comforted me. She also asked if she
could send me a birthday card every year.
It has been three years now and we send each other birthday and
Christmas cards with little notes. She is not interested in meeting me, as she
feels it conflicts with my son’s choice not to meet me!
When I sent a letter telling
her that I was intending to send a birthday card directly to my son, she asked
me not to. She explained that one of his other comments at the time he read my
letter was “don’t tell my wife, she will only nag me”. Well, the first year I took her advice and it
really didn’t feel right. From then on, I have sent birthday cards and
Christmas cards directly to him. I have
no idea if he opens them or not but in my heart of hearts, I must believe that
he will someday change his mind about a reunion.
Until then I will continue praying!
Son's wife is about the only reasonable person in this whole story as far as I can see -
ReplyDeleteHaving received a heartfelt letter from his natural Mother, why would the adopting Parents not allow privacy for that moment, and then why would the adopting parents want to correspond with the natural Mother without the Child's involvement and then why would the adopting parents want to intercept the cards etc before the son got receipt of them? So hurray that at last Natural Mother is trying to set up direct communication with her own Child but with manipulative adopting parents such as are described, her son has a lot of trust issues and has been fed a lot of negative propaganda long before she contacted him - so it will take a long time - (Studies show that reunions are very straightforward for adoptees in functional families and very difficult for adoptees who have been lied to and manipulated -
This is Sad... My Birth Mom was searching for me... My Sister ❤️,asked me if she could search for my Birth Mom. I said yes ... I never thought that she would actually find her... When she called me with the details,and that she found my Birth Mom...I was overwhelmed...My Birth Mom and I spoke via cellphone for about 2 weeks..As I was building up the courage and strength to meet her...So SAD that I didn't just go meet her that day , When I was ready..I called to my dismay her cellphone wasn't working.. she couldn't pay the bill... When I finally made contact some 5 year's later with someone who knew her... Saddest part, she had past away 8 months prior...
ReplyDeleteI regret this everyday....
I think that your son , doesn't want to upset his Adoptive parents...
Much love and prayers sent ����❣️❣️, Love Stacey
My HEART 💓 tells me that your Son doesn't want to hurt his Adoptive parents feelings... I had a chance to meet my Birth Mom.. She was searching for me.. We spoke via cellphone everyday and after 2 weeks I wanted to tell her that I was ready to meet her... Her cellphone number wasn't working as she didn't pay the bill..." She didn't have a lot of money" she had a lot of problems... She passed away before I could meet her only 71 year's...old...I regret not going to meet her everyday...I finally got some photos of her and personal items her charm bracelet, butterfly pin and personal journals..♥️♥️
ReplyDeleteVery sad. :( I hope that he comes around.
ReplyDelete